January 2006 Archives

What the SHIT?!?!

Seriously, what was with last week’s slate of games? I mean, no offense, but when Al comes out looking like Jimmy the Greek, you know things are FUBAR.

That said- everyone who deserved to win last week, won. Even Carolina, who showed folks how to make Urlacher and company choke- play on a loose field and BUMP LIKE HELL!

Still, man, like. Grossman did everything he was supposed to do. He puts up three scores expecting the D to hold up their end of the bargain. Unfortunately…it just didn’t happen. Oh well. The standings and then we move forward. Because looking backwards just hurts too much.

Almejor: 6-2
Redsox: 5-3
Nenie: 4-4
Nearsider: 4-4
Jackflaps: 2-6
Dakotareese: 1-3

Steelers@Broncos
Pittsburgh
Ladys and gentlemen, live from Denver. It’s the Al Bowl.

Both of these teams conspired to screw me last week and they very well might do that again this week, but I’m taking the underdog. Why?

Because a team of destiny isn’t a team that destroys everyone by three scores on its way to a title (yknow, like USC used to); no a team of destiny is one that comes together when it counts, does all of the little things and just manages to find a way to survive. The Pittsburgh Steelers are a team of destiny. Their quest? To get The Bus some shiny new rims before he runs off to wherever it is that buses go when they don’t run their normal routes anymore and aren’t left off at the dump. Let’s just call it “BusBus Land.”

I don’t care what the scoreboard said last week- the Broncos didn’t win that game so much as they didn’t lose it. I’m not saying they didn’t shut down Brady and the Pats- cuz they did that. I’m just saying they weren’t as dominant as Pittsburgh was, on the road against a team that beat the team the Broncos beat. Also, never trust a guy with a sketchy beard named “The Snake.” I don’t care if he has a buddy named Damien. Just don’t freakin’ do it.

Panthers@Seahawks
Seahawks
From one team of destiny to another team of destiny, your Seattle Seahawks. I know, I know saying they’re a team of destiny really weakens if not destroys my previous argument. But these guys are good and much like John Cena, their time is now. Yes, I could make an argument for the Panthers that’s almost identical to the one I made for the Steelers up above. But, (and this but is bigger than Nena’s) the Seahawks could have melted down early last week, losing their big running threat on day 27 of Seattle’s test of the Lord’s Old Testament promise never to drown us right out. But they didn’t. They came back and sent Joe Gibbs back to Daytona.

Plus, after the PASTING the Panthers laid on Da Berrs last week…I just can’t do it.

OK, them’s the picks.

Wilson Pickett is dead.

Wow.

First Lou Rawls, now Wilson Pickett. Damn.

Lately I've been thinking that I ought to make Lobo my new spiritual advisor. Seriously, she gets shit done and lives a pretty good life. Beyond this, she's the most hardcore person I know and folks who know me well know how important that is to me.

But in order to make her my new guru I needed to distill out what it is that makes Lobo the hardcore specimen she is. To that end and taking a cue from some book I read somewhere I've come up with Lobo's Ten Commandments. Seriously, these are the things that govern the way Lobo leads her life and I think there's something to each of these.

I: Remember only the good things
II: Learn your lessons
III: Take shit from no one
IV: Demand what's yours
V: Move on
VI: Enjoy being with people
VII: Take time for yourself
VIII: Be Chill
IX: Be Strong
X: Be Fearless

Be the Lobo

Remember only the good things.
--Seriously, she's a cat, so bad shit happens to her all the time. She falls out of the Christmas tree, she loses her favorite toy, some jerkhole pulls her tail...but no matter what happens, she doesn't hold grudges, she doesn't remember the things that could make her bitter. You pull her tail and five minutes later she's forgotten about it. You feed her once, she'll never forget it.

Learn your lessons.
--Lobo once stepped on a hot stove. It hurt, she doesn't do that anymore. She can't get out from behind the couch, she doesn't go there anymore. Learn your lessons, bad shit happens, steer clear of it. Just don't go there anymore.

Take shit from no one.
--Tryst pulled on her tail on xmas morning. She shrugged it off. He did it again right away. She shrugged it off. He did it a third time, she turned around and kicked his ass. Someone pisses you off, don't hold it in, get it off your chest, move on.

Demand what's yours.
--When she wants attention, she makes her wishes understood- regardless of the time. When she's hungry, she makes her wishes known- regardless of the circumstances. She's entitled to food and love and she's not afraid to remind you of these things. But, she's aware of exactly what she's entitled to and doesn't overstep this.

Move on
--You're not getting what you need out of a situation? Move on. She's not getting the pleasure she needs out of this toy? Fine, new toy. This lap not comfortable anymore? Fine, Nena's less fidgety than Nenie. Don't be afraid to move when things just aren't going your way. Kinda like punting and hoping your D can change up the field position for you.

Enjoy being with people
--She really does enjoy meeting new people we are all extroverted to some degree, so feed that part of you. But don't force the situation. Only interact with others when you feel like it. But also be aware of when you don't want to be with people, but you really do need to get out.

Take time for yourself
--Sometimes you just need to take a nice, long bath, regardless of what else is going on. If Lobo needs to lick at her paw for 15 minutes, she'll just do it. Time to dive under the bed and curl up around a tennis ball? OK, let's make time for that. Just like the previous commandment is about feeding your extrovert, this is about feeding your introvert.

Be chill
--Don't let it get to you.

Be strong
--This is both physical and emotional. She's a cat, she doesn't stand a chance against a human in a straight up fight. But she'll scar you up on the way out. She also knows when she's outgunned and will bail on a losing battle. She believes that she can do anything set in front of her which brings me to

Be fearless
--Lobo fears nothing. This is part of our issue in disciplining her, because the BadKitty 3K doesn't work anymore. Water doesn't bother her. It's just one of those things. It's her fearlessness that's taken her from Lawrence to Chicago to Albuquerque to be poked and prodded and loved by a multitude of family members. Were it not for her fearlessness, she wouldn't be able to feed off of the affection she's received everywhere she's gone.

So yeah, she's just a cat, but hanging out with her for the past few months has totally educated me on how I work and the things I need to be OK.

Thanks Lobo.

But more basically, I am in Birmingham because injustice is here. Just as the prophets of the eight century B.C. left their villages and carried their "thus saith the Lord" far beyond the boundaries of their home towns, and just as the Apostle Paul left his village of Tarsus and carried the gospel of Jesus Christ to the far corners of the Greco Roman world, so am I compelled to carry the gospel of freedom beyond my own home town. Like Paul, I must constantly respond to the Macedonian call for aid.

From "Letter from a Birmingham Jail"
-Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Are we any closer today to Dr. King's dream than we were a year ago? Maybe yes, probably not. But from the land of my mother there comes a bit of hope today. Chile has elected Latin America's first female president.

A former exile, her father tortured to death by Pinochet she's become something of a symbol of reconciliation to many.

I don't think I'll ever forget the joy in my mother's voice when she called yesterday to tell me about the election. That her homeland had elected the first female president in Latin America. It was an amazing moment.

Yup
Everyone I know here is a fucking lame-o. Seriously. With the exception of Nena and Lobo, pretty much everyone else, total lamewad.

Seriously, you have NO idea. Can't wait to get the FUCK out of here and to someplace where I have friends that are, yknow, REAL , NORMAL people.

Damn. Sorry for the rant but I like pedestrian shit, OK? Is that so wrong?

Why do I even try, seriously, yo.

FTW, I'm out of this fucking town first chance I get. So. Fucking. Done.

At 3-1 I’m still right behind redsox1918 who’s sitting pretty at 4-0 so I’m going to play it kinda safe. Well, kinda. I have to make one divergence from picking all the home teams and it comes first…

Patriots@Broncos
Patriots
I know, I know. All week people have been talking about how people are disrespecting the Broncos. How it’s hard to win a playoff game at Mile High Jr., just as it was in Mile High Sr. Al’s going to disown me for this one. But as boring as the Patriots’ win over Jacksonville was last week, they looked more like the Pats of the past few years than they have at any point this season. They’re healthy, they’re hungry, everyone’s been saying their fifteen minutes are up, and Brady’s 10-0 in the playoffs…yeah, how do you pick against them?

Plus, I’m still holding out for a Bears/Pats reunion in Detroit.

This is a team that doesn’t give a shit about how hard it is to win on the road in Denver. They just don’t. They believe that they are the champions, probably because they are until someone beats them. Kinda like Pres. Shepard in The American President when he tells Sen. Rumson off in the climactic news conference. “My name is the New England Patriots and we ARE the Super Bowl Champions.”

Washington@Seahawks
Seahawks
As much as I’d love to see Washington win this one to set up an NFC Title game at Soldier Field where Da Berrs avenge a 2 point, season-opening loss it’s so not in the cards, it’s not funny. The Seahawks are a team of destiny, they’ve been trying to prove they’re the best in the league for years now and every year I fall for their act. This year isn’t any different. Hasselbeck is the real deal and so’s Alexander and this is the year they get to the NFC Championship game. The Seahawks are the new Iggles people. Believe.

Steelers@Colts
Colts
Am I trying to piss Al off? No. Am I trying to pick accurately and dispassionately to overcompensate for my total love for Da Berrs? Yes. The Colts haven’t come this far to blow a divisional game at home. Do I think they could blow the AFC Title at home? Yes. Yes I do. But this game will go a long way towards dictating whether their season ends in Indy or Detroit.

But no matter which team shows up, they’ll get past Pittsburgh. Wish it weren’t so, but it is.

Panthers@Bears
DA BERRS
You know how long I’ve been waiting to say that?

Yes, this team made the playoffs in 2002. Yes, I was making picks back then. But at the time they were just in email form between Cody and me. So I haven’t had a chance to pick them publicly before. Holy mother of SHIT am I pumped for this game. Da Berrs, at home, one win away from the NFC Title game; two games from the Super Bowl, twenty years after their last Super Bowl trip. How can you NOT be excited?

It’s not like we’re a team that makes it every year and chokes (Indy, Stillers, Seahawks, Panthers I’m looking at you.) No, we get one shot at this every few years and dammit we’re gonna make this one count.

But I should probably have some analysis. Face it, this D doesn’t give up points. No, I’m not expecting them to match or beat the 3 they held this team to two months ago. This is a Panthers team that knows how to win in the playoffs, so I am afraid of them. But at the end of the day I think the combination of the D holding them to single digits and Grossman under center is going to work wonders for Da Berrs.

Is Grossman the messiah? Yes and no. He isn’t right now. But I’ve always believed he could be, if he stayed healthy enough. This is a kid who’s career stats are scant because of injury and what stats there are aren’t much better than Orton’s abysmal ones. However, the Panthers’ D just doesn’t have enough tape of this kid to gameplan effectively for him. This sets up all sorts of wonderful things for both the running and passing games. Long story short, you don’t know what these guys are going to do, and that’s so amazingly thrilling.

Sadly, my loser friends out here in Kansas aren’t flocking to my Bears party this weekend. So it looks like Nena and I will be alone watching the game. Oh, how I miss you Chicago. Shit, this game’s huge down in New Mexico, too. I’m just totally in the wrong place at the wrong time.

One weekend down, three more to go.

I went 3-1 on my picks last week, which is right where I wanted to be.

Here be the rankings

Redsox: 4-0
Nenie: 3-1
Almejor: 2-2
Nearsider: 2-2
Jackflaps: 1-3

Glad to see Jack's fantasy football title is going to his head.

About the games. Not too bad and it really proves that playoff football really is TiVo's killer ap. I know that I talk about this entirely too much come playoff time, but you have no idea how awesome it is to come home to find two playoff football games on the HD, ready to go...unless you can do it yourself.

Plus, you can fast forward through all the commercials and inane analysis. So freakin' great.

Anyway, the Pats game was a serious snoozer. So bad that I just jumped to the fourth quarter and even then I was riding the fast forward button. I mean, we get the point. The Pats are healthy again, they're back and they're ready to be scary again. OK, we got the memo. NEXT!

The Stillers showed me more than most folks are giving them credit for. If Palmer stays in the game, I don't think Cincy wins, but I do think they're in it for longer. In the end my boy The Bus showed why he's the man. He did what he wanted to do when he wanted to do it. The Stillers just wanted it more, flat out. Cincy thought they wanted it, they felt they wanted it. But I don't think they understood what wanting it really means. After losing in the first round at home...they get it.

On the NFC side...these were some entertainingly forgettable games. Tampa should have had Washington covered, but they didn't. As for Carolina and New York. Holy crap. I mean, I'm not trying to take away anything from the Panthers cuz they played a great game. But still could Manning the Younger's O have looked worse? Well, yes, they could have. But that's not the point.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to this week when my Bears are back at it. Picks coming in the next few hours (ie- by Friday afternoon.)

I love this statement

"The Web site [thesmokinggun.com] is owned by Court TV, which is half owned by Time-Warner, CNN's parent company. The movie rights have been purchased by Warner Brothers, also part of Time Warner."

It's from an article about the controversy over "A Million Little Pieces."

It's literally a disclosure statement, but to me, it's a whole lot more.

So I was hanging out with some friends here in Lawrence when the topic of "10 Americans Every American Should Know About" came up.

At first it was one of these "who are we not told about in HS that we really should be told about" kinds of things. Then, it evolved into one of those "don't fault a great musician for being popular" kinds of discussions.

But it got me to thinking, who would be on this list if I had more people filling out the survey? So, here we go. Who's on your list?

Give me one person. Give me five. Give me 10, 15, 100. Give me what you've got.

You don't have to tell me why this person makes your list, but if you want to tell me, please do. I may come back and ask who this person is, but that's part of the point.

Also, if someone else has stolen your thunder, tell me that, too. I mean, just cuz I say Malcolm X should be on the list doesn't mean that you can't say "yeah, me too." Not that people agreeing with each other makes someone's point more valid. But, it does show me that it's more than one person that feels that way. Yknow?

Word, have at it folks.

You thought I was going to forget, didn't you?

Nope, not going to forget, not going to do it.

Yup, the football playoffs are upon us once again and between nenie.net still being dead and work being RECOCKULOUS this week (gonna have to go in this weekend and do some stuff. Yay unpaid overtime) I didn't manage to get around to making my picks until right now. Nena and her friend are downstairs watching that chick flick with Jennifer Gardner where she grows up overnight. And while I would love to see it, I have football to talk.

OK, Wild Card Weekend. Which really is a prelude to DA BERRS playing next weekend. But I'm getting ahead of myself. So here, for the third year in a row, are my NFL Wildcard Weekend picks.

Wild Card Weekend

Washington@Bucs
Bucs
Don't get me wrong. The indigenous fighting men of the Potomac have come to play late this season. And I did have Brunell playing for my Fighting Vonies for a while. But, well. I need the Bucs to win this game. I need the Bucs to win and set up a showdown between two old NFC Central rivals next week at Soldier Field.

That, and NO ONE goes into Tampa on Wild Card Weekend and walks out with a win. Especially not this Washington squad.

Jaguars@Patriots
Patriots
Yeah, people have been getting off the Pats bandwagon all season. And while I'm not necessarily on it, I'm not drinking the Kool-Aid either. The Patriots don't lose at home on Wild Card Weekend. Not this version of the Patriots.

Yes, the Jags' D is hardcore. But they're Crash Holly to Tom Brady's Sabu.

Plus, I need the Pats go move on to make my BERRS fantasy come true. (yes, it's all about DA BERRS. What? You didn't get the memo?)

Panthers@Giants
Panthers
I need an upset, and this is it. I don't think Manning is ready yet. Is he really good? Yes. Is he amazing yet? No. And amazing is what they're going to need to get this one done. Well, that or some seriously cold weather. But I think good old Southern boy Manning might freeze up in true G-Men weather.

Plus, I need the Panthers to win to allow the Bucs to travel to Soldier Field next week.

Steelers@Bengals
Steelers
I regret making this pick already. This is the pick that will make this year look more like my 1-3 performance from 2005 than my 4-0 performance from 2004. But I have my reasons.

1) Almejor would eat me alive if I picked Cincinnati
2) CK has taught me to hate Ohio
3) Big Ben has been here before, he knows how to rock the funky joint (he's on point)
4) The Bengals were hot at the beginning of the season and have cooled off a bit. The Steelers were cool at the beginning and have heated up at the end. Simply put, they're peaking at the right time. They dismantled DA BERRS a few weeks ago and that game (one of the three BERRS games I saw this season) showed me not just something. It showed me a LOT.

There we go. Them be the picks. Thoughts? Picks of your own?

Lou Rawls has left the building